A Revolutionary New Form of Baptism

5 Steps for a Powerful Baptism

Step 1: Pick a Name

I welcome you to pick a new spiritual nickname for yourself, one that represents your new soul life, the life that your soul wants to live. This is the nickname we will baptize you as.

You can use your spirit animal or your life’s dream. For example, you can call your soul’s new nickname, Sister Bear. Or Brother Sky.

My mother might choose, “Money Mama,” because she luvs herself sum money!!

You can say Power Ranger Dora. Or Samantha Magical. Or Neo Jim. Neo is Keanu Reeves’ character in The Matrix.

Remember, this is how your soul sees you— not how you see yourself.

My soul sees me as a Koala bear. I personally wouldn’t choose that for myself. I would have chosen a panther, a whale or a bolt of lightning. But my soul is very clear. She’s a girl and she’s koala bear. So even though my preference is to be a predator, my soul wants to be a hugger, and a super snuggler— someone who spends most of her life cuddling trees.

Who does your soul want to be baptized as? The river of life? Then, today, we would baptize you as the River of Life. How bout sexy swan? We can baptize you as Sexy swan? How about the Song of Sofia? Or Blueberry Akemi, forever in the summer and the youth of her life? Or Courageous Catherine— take no prisoners, a warrior of God. Or Planet Michelle— a forested nature reserve who continually restores herself? Thomas Thunder?

Choose your name now. If you do not choose wisely, don’t worry— next year we can re-baptize you with a new name. So feel free to take extravagant risks.

Step 2: Choose Your Soul Power

Now, choose your soul power. Your soul power has to be authentic to your soul.

I know my soul is a koala bear, not a panther. My soul power is hugging and welcoming in the new day with soft gray fur.

I wish… my soul power were to fall silently— like night— and then stalk evil-doers until they give all their money to the poor. But that’s not what my soul power is. My soul power is innocence and childlike happiness. Weird cuz that’s not who I am, but that is who my soul is.

So you have to think about what your soul is and what it’s power is. For example, Christ-followers in the olden days would cast out demons and heal the sick. They would be like, “Wow! I just healed a leper. I don’t know how I’m doing it.” Okay. They’re not doing it. Their soul is doing it.

Your soul has powers that you do not.

Christ-followers in the olden days would use the power of their souls to do a miracle. NOT the power of their mind, or the power of their heart, or the power of their bodies. Or the power of their spirit.

Your soul cannot betray you.

Let me talk about this. It is possible to use spiritual practices to serve your ego. Look at Instagram. There are a ton of girls in g-strings doing yoga poses. I’m talking about the power of your soul— your soul encompasses all of who you are including your mind, heart, body and spirit— but your soul cannot betray you.

Your soul is pure.

No matter what you do, your soul cannot betray you. Your mind can get lost, your body can get sick, your heart can deceive you— hand up who’s ever fallen in love with wrong person, and your spirit could make you a successful bestselling author or teacher, but gets caught up in fame and ends up using people. Your soul is the part of you that protects you from making those big mistakes in your life. Your soul is always trying to warn you and guide you. Your soul cannot betray you.

Your soul is God.

There was a journalist who got paid a lot of money to write hit pieces on certain celebrities. Very intelligent writing, but essentially to ruin someone’s career. And I told her, “I don’t know what you use your power for, but I know that it was designed to tell the story of a truth. You are a truth teller.”

Can you use your soul power for dark purposes? Yes, but it will come back to you. And you will regret it.

Even if God allows you to use him/her/they in any way you choose, God will allow you to use your power for dark purposes because you are God. And the reason why you regret using your soul power for dark purposes is because you are God.

When we baptize you today, part of our creativity policy is that you use your soul power for Light and for Good.

Because we don’t want you to fall into regret. We want you to fall into happiness.

Choose your soul power now and write it in your journal.

Step 3: Choose your Angel Power

Now, choose your angel power. Angel power is good for one year. We have to renew it next year when we have another baptism ceremony.

Why is it only one year? Because you have to ask. You have to grant permission to the universe to help you. You can’t just assume and take things for granted. You have to create an awareness of your relationship to the universe. And so, yes, you have to renew your contract with the universe every year, preferably more.

Choosing your angel power entails how many, how much and which. That means, how many angels do you want, how much do you want them around and which kind of angels do you want?

Before you do that, let me say this: everyone already has a guardian angel.

But we all need extra extra, cuz here at Hale Ho’onani, we are EXTRA.

Other churches are basic. That’s okay. You do you. But we are extra.

So you only really need like 2 or 3 extra angels. But I personally, and maybe it’s too much, and maybe it’s overkill, but Over Kill is my middle name. So I asked for 10K angels by my side 24/7 for the next 12 months. I have an army… of angels.

Light attracts dark, so my extra angels might attract drama and spiritual warfare.

So I want you to be more careful than me and decide for yourself. Like, if I want that many angels— I’m gonna attract stuff to me, so that my angels have something to do besides look pretty.

But if you only have 15 angels, you attract business. If you have 4 angels, you attract family or a party. If you have 2 angels, you attract romance. So, think about the number here. If you have 2 angels, those angels will only serve you, and make your life happy.

I have 10K angels, so my obligation is to serve 10K people and make them happy. Why? Because I have so many angels? What else are they going to do?

Okay, choose your number now… but… also! Think about what kind of angels you want.

Do you want healing angels? Do you want romantic angels— to attract true love? Do you want money angels? Be careful here, because money angels do two things: they attract money, but they also protect you from getting money cancer, which is when too much money starts to corrupt your ability to love. Do you want work-out angels? Helper angels? Math angels? Angels that just teach you how to do math? There are angels for everything and for every season.

And then think about how much you want them around? Only on Sundays? Every day? Once a month? Just for your daughter’s wedding and then after that, they are free to go?

Write your angel powers in your journal now.

Step 4: The Baptism

We will use the authority given to us by the African Methodist Episcopal Church and Jesus Christ.

First, all of us together will say your soul name.

Then, all of us together will baptize you with your soul power.

Then, the entire congregation— which is 12 of you plus all your ancestral guardians such as lions, volcano goddesses, native American grandparents, this mountain range in Hanalei, Kauai named Namolakama and my family’s taro patch— all of us will call forth your angel power.

Here’s an example:

Soul Name: Loose Leaf Tea Lisa

Soul Power: Reading the tea leaves of life, being able to predict future events before they happen

Angel Power: 56 helper angels, 12 healing angels, 18 money angels, 74 power angels, 81 love angels, 16 soccer angels

Step 5: Vow

Now, this is the last part which we will all do in unison. Whenever you are broken or upset or tired or stressed out, you can repeat these words that we are going to say right now. All of us together will say this baptism vow:

I may not be ready, but I’m willing to love my life.

God, please help me love the gift of life.


Practice acquiring the consciousness of your soul power.

Before falling asleep, visualize yourself as your new soul name. Chant the name to yourself a few times.

Say these words to yourself, “I now realize that there is within me, this soul power:____________.” Name what your soul power is.

Then, thank your angels for helping you that day.

“Thank you to my: _________.” Name all your angels.

That’s your night time ritual.

Then, you have a morning ritual. As soon as you wake up in the morning, greet yourself using your soul name and greet your angels.

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