Time Out Is Shopping for Life Experiences
Time out is where you get all your ego needs met. You have a high-paying job. You get married and have kids. You partied a lot with your friends and dated all sorts of people.
Timeout is where you explore the endless options out there in the world. You travel. You eat a bunch of different foods. You experiment. It’s your R&D or research and development phase. It’s exploratory.
The wilderness is where you don’t have the luxury of shopping around. You got to settle down.
With one life partner.
One career path.
One place to live.
One car.
You don’t have a lot of options or choices because because you can’t afford it. Also because you’re tied down and committed to your life purpose.
There’s you and then there’s your dream
When you went into Time Out your dream stayed in the wilderness.
It didn’t follow you into Time Out. It stayed exactly where you left it— out in the wilderness. So while you were shopping for endless options— your dream stayed fixated and focused on only one thing— your life purpose.
While you were dating, romancing, experimenting, traveling, becoming— your dream did not. It stayed planted right where you left it. It didn’t go nowhere, honey. It’s still waiting for you…
Whenever you are ready to go back out into the wilderness, your dream will be waiting for you.
Broken Wings
When I entered the Garden of Eden to take sum Time Out from my life— it was because I had a broken dream. I left my dream to be a preacher— out there in the wilderness. Then, I went into Time Out to heal from the trauma of having a broken dream.
In Time Out, it feels good to have no wings. Woo! Having a dream is heavy. You have these wings attached to your shoulders. What a burden to carry. You’re always trying to get airborne, catch some wind, so you can fly. So much of your dream taking off is dependent on opportunity. Waiting for your opportunity— to take off.
Now, in Time Out I had solid ground under my feet. I could walk. I mean, who needs wings when you can walk? Right?
I was 17 years old when my wings were too broken to get airborne anymore. I entered Time Out at age 17. The next 26 years I was in Time Out, I never aged a day. I was 17 years old— for 26 years. You know why Time Out is sooo luscious? Cuz you don’t age.
In the wilderness, you age. There’s no time in Time Out. Time only exists in the wilderness.
So while I was in Time Out, my dream was in the wilderness and it was starting to grow with age. Every year, it grew and healed. Grew and healed.
I was on a taro farm, I was in a monastery in Brazil, I was in an ashram in India. My dream was right where I left it. Going nowhere. Focusing on nothing but healing it’s broken wings.
Growing wings
Do you know that every time you break a bone, that it grows back thicker— that’s why you notice scar tissue— where it healed itself.
Ever notice how every time you cut your skin, when it heals, it gets thicker? When your dream is broken what happens is in the process of healing itself is— it grows back— bigger.
If the break is very deep, when it heals itself, it grows back even bigger.
When I entered the Time Out, I left behind my broken dream— with its broken wings. And they were the size that fit an eighth grader.
When I came out of Time Out, 26 years later, and I saw my wings, they were a lot bigger. Because in the process of healing themselves they had grown ginormous. They were the size that fit a preacher. An ordained, anointed preacher of the African. Methodist. Episcopal. Church.
There were flecks of gold and shades of purple. They were not the wings I left in the wilderness 26 years ago. Small, broken, and bleeding.
They were the wings of an eagle.
Grow Into Your Wings
I had to grow into my wings. When I went into Time Out, I was 17. When I came out of Time Out, I was still 17.
My wings were almost half a century old.
I couldn’t put those wings on and fly. They were too big for me.
The dream that was meant to be dreamed by you— is not gonna fit on the first try. Or the second try. Or the 900th time.
It’s your dream.
It’s meant for you.
But when you fail, it’s not cuz your dream wasn’t meant to be. It’s because you have to grow into your wings.
Please write this in your journal:
I have to grow into my wings.
I know you don’t know what you were doing in Time Out. Maybe you were raising kids or growing a flower garden. But whatever you were doing… You were giving yourself time… to heal.
Your dream also needed that time to heal, from being broken.
Your dream needs time to heal from being broken.
So you can do whatever you want in Time Out—- it doesn’t actually matter. All that matters is that your dream has enough time to heal itself.
From 2014 til 2021 I had to whip myself into shape— I had to volunteer, I had to go to seminary, I had to write a manuscript, I had to work out, I had to fast— and basically… grow up, buttercup— because apparently, I was too small for my wings. My dream had outgrown me and it was ready… even if I was not.
Your dream is ready, even if… you are not.
Your soul is always ready to soar… with or without you.
You may be waiting for your opportunity… But I swear to you, the universe is also waiting… for you.
Please write down this pledge to your Father on Father’s day:
Soon and very soon, I will match my wings.
Then, hear him saying back to you, “But I Never. Once. Doubted. That You Will”
