How We Remember Our Loved Ones
Let’s talk a moment about how we remember our loved ones. Usually we remember them to keep them alive and present in our lives because of our profound sense of loss. Meanwhile they are trying to remind us that they are still very much alive, just not in the way that we remember them.
They are not old and dying and suffering with a degenerated hip like how we remember them. They are probably young and barefoot in a field of grass with their dog. We remember them as old, wrinkled and sick. Because we are attached to the way that we saw them last.
Regret is holding on. We hold on to the way we saw them last because we regret losing them—
Instead of remembering them in the way they were in all the good times.
Love is letting go. Let go of the way you saw them last.
Remember them when they were at their happiest— celebrate gaining them and adding them to your life.
Sometimes We’re Scared To Remember
Sometimes, we are scared to remember— just like that mother did not want to remember her son’s suicide.
If you see your loved one— not how they were when you last saw them— but how they are now, in heaven, you might not recognize them. That is because when they die, they no longer have to wear their pain. They shed their pain and become their natural self.
In a single moment, they become godlike, healthy, full of life.
Sometimes, we choose not to connect with our loved one because we’re scared of reliving the pain of how they departed. Our fear blocks us from hearing them talking to us.
Samantha always tells a barking dog, “You can’t hear me talking to you, when you’re barking!”
But the dog barks, because he’s scared. To stop barking, he has to stop being scared for just enough— arf! Arf! Arf!— to hear her talking to him.
Your fear is barking at you so loud, you cannot hear heaven talking to you. They’re talking— you just can’t hear them.
Fear is like a brake pedal. It slows down and eventually stops communication.
Love is like the gas pedal. It speeds up and creates clear communication.
Seeing Your Loved One Again
In order to see your loved one again, the way they are now— in their heavenly form— you have to be willing to look at what you fear the most, which is the memory of them suffering. And the longer you relax and accept what you see, you will see the love that endures and remains… way after the suffering is long gone.
Your vision will change.
Like that mother… instead of seeing her son’s body on the ground, she saw his spirit standing above his body opening his arms to hug her.
