Adam & Eve: How God Created Romance

Romance in the Garden of Eden

So let’s look at the Bible now. I’m reading from the LOLCatBible.

In the beginning there was meow— Ceiling Cat, or God.

—Genesis 1, LOL Cat Bible

Here it is spring in the Garden of Eden— so there were a lot of baby animals and flowers everywhere. Ceiling Cat saw that Adam was not happy.

So God, trying to cheer Adam up, says, “Here I geev u a kitteh. There you go.” Now you can has luv. Adam was still not happy.

God says, “Here you go. You can has baby duckling.

Here you go. You can has peach.

Here you go. You can has flower.

Here you go. You can have meadow of golden wheat.

Oh look. You can has strawberries.

You can has sunshine.

You can has warm breeze.”

But nothing in this perfect garden could make perfect Adam feel love. So God is like, “Okay, I’m gonna….” And then out of the blue, God drugs Adam. He gives him these marijuana CBD oil drops and Adam falls asleep.

God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs…

and the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman.

—Genesis 2:21-22

God, has his hand inside of Adam’s body, kinda like a surgeon rummaging around. He’s like, “Okay. I made you perfect. That didn’t work. So let me take something out, what is this?” He pulls out a rib.

God is like, “Okay. You probably need that. Which means— I’m going to take it out—“

And from that rib, he created Adam’s mate.

When Adam woke up, he realized, immediately that he was no longer perfect. Something deep inside of him was missing. The moment Adam realized that he was not perfect— he began to sing.

He started to paint. He took some blueberries, some raspberries, some carrots— and he started to paint visions in his mind of his beloved.

Then, he wrote some poetry.

Then, he started planting a garden.

He couldn’t stop. He just had to find what was missing in his soul. What was it?

It was so mysterious and elusive and it felt like the stars at night were twinkling at him, telling him— your other half is out there— keep searching…

In that moment, God gave the angels a high-five. He’s like, “I did it!”

God created INSPIRATION.

If humans are forever imperfect, they will be forever inspired to create and co-create beauty over and over again, every spring.

God did his happy dance because the moment he created imperfection— was the moment God created the inspiration for true love.

What do you all think?

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