We Are Perfectly Imperfect
Now that we know that we are all created perfectly imperfect— we are not all plastic barbie dolls— we are all created with the inspiration to seek true love…. That’s a good thing.
That means that we are meant to be inspired to seek the yin to our yang, the one who complements us. Their half enhances our half. Our half enhances their half.
It’s like kinda like if you’re peanut butter— are you looking for your jelly?
If you’re coffee— you lookin’ for your cream?
Are you heaven— lookin’ for your earth?
If you’re a peach, you don’t want another peach. You want someone the opposite of sweet and nectar— like maybe creamy and salty— because that would bring out and enhance your peachiness— it would make you even more peachy.
If you are the dawn, you want someone as dark as midnight who makes your presence even brighter.
If you are busy trying to be perfect, you are going to find a plastic Ken to match your plastic Barbie.
Only when you celebrate your imperfection can you find true love.
Love is not where you try to be perfect, so someone else will love you. Love is where you celebrate madly— what makes you imperfect.
Love is like a flower. True love is delicate and pure. It grows in the most giving, soft, soil.
Last week, we talked about the parable of the sower, and we said that your heart is like a field. Love is a like a seed that you plant in this field. In order for love to grow, you have to water the soil, you have to remove the rocks that are choking your seeds and put up a fence to keep the chickens from scratching at your seeds of love. Today, I want to expand on that.
If you have perfect soil, you can throw any seed down and it will grow. We all know people like that. They will love anybody. You can plant any seed in their heart— and it will grow.
The easy way to have love — is to have perfect soil. When you have perfect soil, you match with almost any romantic partner.
The harder way to have love— is to have soil that is not perfect. When you have imperfect soil, you match with specific romantic partners.
Any flower can grow in perfect soil. Only some flowers grow in imperfect soil.
Sometimes, you don’t want all the flowers in your field. Sometimes, you want a very specific flower to grow in your garden. So you want to tweak the soil. You don’t want perfect soil. Because you’re trying to get a very specific type of flower to bloom in your field.
In this community garden by my house in Hawaii, there was a plot of soil. Buttercups and poppies started growing there, spontaneously. They were so colorful and delightful. I was thrilled.
One day, this elderly lady came by and dug up all the flowers. I was like, “What are you doing?”
She said, “Oh they are very pretty, but common. These flowers grow everywhere.” She dug up all the soil and started putting sand and gravel in the plot. Then, she started planting cacti. Like spiky nubs of army green blobs.
In about a month, I came back and saw the most crazy psychedelic flowers I’ve ever seen. She didn’t want the same kind of flowers that everyone else had. She wanted something rare. Something very special.
So she had to change the soil.
Any flower can grow in perfect soil. But there are certain flowers that can only grow in soil that is not perfect.
For example, there are desert flowers that grow in the heat, with no water. Like the love between two of my Crossfit coaches. Neither one of them had eaten a cupcake in 25 years. They each eat 807 ounces of chicken breast a day and no carbs. Yet, their love blossomed in that dry boring heat.
There are also lotus flowers that grow in swamps, flooded with water. Water represents emotion. Here are lovers who live in an artist commune and they are passionate about everything in their life: their plants, their hand-woven hemp clothes, the pebbles that line the path to their yurt.
There are flowers that even grow in rocky soil. This couple’s marriage lasted through many trials and tribulations. In fact, their relationship thrives on facing challenges, together. Iron sharpens iron.
And there are flowers that have thorns. They withstand the jealous chickens trying to pluck at them. No matter how many haters this couple has, they have bodyguards to keep those chickens out.
Last week, I asked you to try to have more perfect soil to grow the flower of love. But this week, I want to make the exact opposite argument— that even if your soil is not perfect, a flower of love still grows there— a kind of love that is designed to thrive in exactly your type of soil.
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