Stay on Your Happiness Schedule

You’re Going To Be Happy Someday

My friend’s boyfriend broke up with her this week. She is on the phone with me, sobbing. You know when you sob and sob cuz it feels like somebody just shot you in the chest?

She gets on her knees to pray and feels God next to her. She leans in, waiting to hear words that will be her healing balm. Clear as day, she hears God say, “Get back work. You have a psychology exam on Friday.”

She is so confused.

God says, “Get off your knees. Get on your feet, get on a bicycle, get on the steps of the library, get on anything. But don’t make me the God of your pity party. Make me the God of your happiness.”

She says, “But I bought him a car.”

With zero sympathy, God says, “Cut your losses. Move on.”

Sometimes the God within you doesn’t care about your boyfriend. The God within you only cares about you.

She is like, “What about Johnny?”

God is like, “Screw him. Focus on you.”

She says, “Aren’t I supposed to let myself cry? Remember… Feelings buried alive, never die?”

God says, “Listen you’re going to be happy someday right?”

She says, “Yeah. Someday. I don’t know when…”

God says, “Why not make it sooner? Every time— you regret— you delay it.

Get on your happiness schedule— and stay on schedule. We’re gonna miss our deadline to be happy because of you and— what’s his name?”

She’s like, “My boyfriend?”

God says, “Exactly. Broccoli. I know it’s hard for you to hear but I don’t care about Broccoli. I only care about you. You’re the first person in your family to get a college degree. You’re a chain breaker. Drop him. Drop your chain.”

So she’s sitting on the bus, on the way to the library and an elderly lady with a flower hat leans over and asks her, “Honey, are you okay?”

She’s like, “I just broke… my chains…”

The elderly lady holds up her fist and says, “I’m one of the original chain breakers.”

So one of them smiling and one of them cryin’— both of them go— bump fists and explosion!

Your Happiness Schedule

The elderly lady on the bus asks my friend, “How does it feel to break your chains?”

My friend sad says, “It feels like hell.”

The elderly lady says, “I got my hearing aide in. Did you say, it feels good as hell?”

As in, “Baby how you feeling? Feeling good as hell! Feeling good as hell.”

Because if you put “going through Hell” on your Happiness Schedule— God is gonna make sure by July 13th… whoo! you’re feelin’ good as hell.

In your journal, please write, “My Happiness Schedule.”

Concentrate. Focus… Schedule your wish to come true.

When are you ready for this wish to plop into your life?

And… do you want it to come in stages?

If so, schedule the first stage, the second stage, the 3rd stage.

Your job is to stay on schedule.

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