Space of Love
Remember we talked last week we said that in the western world, we think of love as an object— that we can give to someone else or take from someone else.
In Hawaiian culture, love is a space— that we both share.
In the western world, the emphasis is on the relationship between two people. “Do you love me? Why don’t you love me enough?” We’re fixated on the person. On how much our partner loves us or doesn’t love us.
In Hawaiian culture, the relationship isn’t the person— it’s the space. The space of love surrounding both people. You’re both responsible for co-creating a space of love.
Does this space allow our love to grow?
Does this space allow our love to rest?
Does this space allow our love to play?
For example [see video], this couple whose lifestyle is defined by determined discipline, NO cheat days. Their body fat is negative 16%. Does this space allow love to rest? Heck no! This is an active relationship. They don’t want a relationship that allows them to goof off and drink beers. They want a relationship that keeps them working out, fit, and active.
Does this space allow love to grow? [see video] Only if you’re mold. This is a resting relationship. This is a relationship that allows both people to spend all day hugging trees, reading, meditating, baking. Your only job in this relationship is to relax and be inspired.
Does this space allow love to play? [see video] Oh no. This is a working relationship. You don’t sit around and finger-paint. You talk to world leaders, you manage wars between nations, you fund-raise for charitable causes. This is not a relationship designed for playboys. This is a relationship designed for presidents.
Does this space allow love to be casual and free, where you can just be yourself? [see video] No. This is a fantasy relationship. This relationship has a lot of corporate sponsors, a commercial deal with Pepsi, an entourage who always make sure the lighting is great when you take pictures. This relationship allows you to be— someone who you’re not— a glamazon. You get to dress up, wear make-up, go to fancy parties. This is not a relationship where you just wake up, have breakfast. This is a relationship where when you show up for breakfast— you look fabulous!
Do you have any comments or thoughts you’d like to share before we move forward?
What’s Your Space of Love?
Today, when we focus on love— let’s not focus on love. Let’s focus on the space that we are inviting love into.
Like, if love were going to be a new tenant or roommate in your life— what space would you prepare for it to come and live with you? What space have you created for love?
For example, this couple’s space of love looks like a gym. This is a relationship where you stay active and fit.
This couple’s space of love looks like a fruit orchard. This is a relationship where you rest and meditate.
This couple’s space of love looks like the White House. This is a relationship where you wield power.
This couple’s space of love looks like Instagram. This is a relationship where you maintain an image.
Today we are going to explore: What your space of love is.
Each one of us has a space of love, inside of us. You have been creating this space of love inside of you your whole life. Your space of love is very specific to you— and it is part of how God designed you.
Each one of us is unique, like crystal snowflakes. So we each have unique spaces of love.
Exploring Your Space of Love
Get your journal and follow the guided meditation in the video.
STEP 1: Remember when you fell in love. Let the scenes play like a movie in your mind…
STEP 2: What happened to you and what happened to your partner? Write down your memories.
STEP 3: Romance lives in a space of love that you created. Describe your space of love.
Was it a garden?
Was it a man cave?
Was it an ocean?
Was it a therapist couch?
Was it a kitchen?
Please draw your space of love and describe it in your journal.
