God’s #1 Job ~ The Story of Noah’s Ark

God will make a way for you

God’s number one job as your mommy is to make a way for you.

No matter how outlandish you choose to be, how creative, out of the box, artistic, wild, extreme—God’s job as your mommy— is to make a way for you. The whole world could be drowning, but God’s job— when she’s being your mommy— is to make a way for you.

Genesis 6: The Flood

Make gynormus bote

Genesis 6:14, LOL Cat Bible

At the very beginning of humanity, Noah builds a ginormous boat. Ginormous. Ginormous. Super yacht. Mega huge. Like so so soooooo big.

You know when you’re in the middle of an art project— and you chisel away at it for months— finally, when it’s close to being finished, you step back and take a look at it? Noah is standing there in front of his boat and asks God, “Is it too big?”

God is like, “I love it. It’s so original. It’s not like everyone else.”

Noah said, “I made it like how you told me—as big as a football field.”

God said, “I know and I love it. Everyone else makes small boats cuz they just want to float on a lake and catch fish.”

Noah is nodding his head, “Yeah yeah.”

God is like, “And it’s square. Boats are usually boat-shaped.”

Noah is nodding.

God’s like, “Ok.”

Noah is like, “Ok, what?”

God’s like, “I’m going to make a way for you. And all the animals.”

Noah says ”What are you gonna do?”

God takes Noah’s face in his hands and says, “Listen to me, Noah. Don’t be scared.”

Noah is like, “You’re scaring me.”

God is like, “Mommy’s here, Noah. Mommy’s here. I’m gonna save you. Just know this… no matter what happens, Mommy’s gonna make a way for you.”

Noah’s like, “Okay.”

Noah is Momma’s Boy

Noah is one of the original Momma’s boys in the Bible— he listens to God, his mommy.

Noah did evry thin Ceiling Cat tellz him, bein a gud boi bcuz he had to stfu.

Genesis 6;22, LOL Cat Bible

The bible says Noah is a good boy

No matter how wacky his mommy’s advice is—Noah listens to his mommy. No matter how wacky Noah’s boat is, God, his mommy— is behind him 100%. So Noah, snuggled up in his ginormous boat with all his pets— listening to the sound of falling rain. While the rest of the world drowns….God keeps Noah safe in his ark. Mommy God cradles him in the arms of the ocean.

Remember what Mommies do— they shelter you from the negativity in the world and keep you in your bubble of happiness.

What applies to the rest of the world, doesn’t apply to you when you have Mommy Power working on your side.


Noah, is one of original Mama’s boys in the Bible. He hand-builds an ark the size of a football field and covers the whole thing in tar and saves the entire animal queendom from going extinct.

That guy is an out-of-the box thinker. Timing is essential to launch this project. He is dealing with livestock, weather, and a massive amount of other logistics. His timing had to be so precise— he was the precursor to Fedex. The logistics have to be like the inside of a Rolex. There are a ton of moving parts and all of them have to be precise.

Have you ever tried to launch a new idea that is going to influence humanity? You can’t be ahead of your time. You can’t be behind your time. You have to be RIGHT ON TIME.

Because when your idea is that ku-ku-loco-moco, timing is everything— it’s the difference between, “the whole world is drowning, you’re the only one with a football field sized waterproof shelter“ and “What the heck are you doing? Are you smoking something? Do I need to call a 12-step program for you?” The difference between you’re crazy— and you’re successful— is a membrane. That membrane, that sheath is your mommy.

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